Saturday, December 14, 2013

Ending the #WarOnChristmas

The Butler from Downton Abbey made a hippy dippy Greenpeace video, the Rush Limbaugh goofed on,  scaring children by telling them that polar ice caps are melting causing Santa to cancel Christmas:

Ironically, the Amish Mafia may have inadvertently figured out why (according to leftists) the polar caps are allegedly melting (which, in fact the ice caps are actually growing) because Santa is Satan who wears mittens to hide his hooves:

To make everyone happy, maybe St Nicholas should return to his old homeland along the Mediterranean  in Myra/Demre, Turkey (SW corner of the map there's a little Santa):

Hence, Santa will get a nice tan making critics of Megyn Kelly happy, and his alleged hellish hotness will stop melting polar ice.

However, if Santa wants to avoid the growing anti-Christian sentiment in his former Asia Minor homeland

but still wants to cultivate a tan, he might head out and surf along Hawaii, instead:

Regardless of all this ecumenical Santa hatred around the world, people in the Buckeye state still love Jolly Old St. Nicholas:

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