I was cleaning out my cardboard boxes in a vain attempt to avoid dying in an avalanche of debris like my long lost Collyer cousins, from Maggie's Farm Sunday, September 6. 2009 post on "The Collyer Brothers"bird feeders = raccoon piñatas #PBS #RaccoonNation http://t.co/eQ5KiFCjUr pic.twitter.com/vX4ysLxkJW— Bossy Adagio (@adagioforstring) August 21, 2014
Killer raccoon with his KGB handler:
"The People's Cube" 1/31/2014 post "New NSA Scandal !!" confirms that nefarious organizations are training raccoons for odious purposes:
A basic timeline delineated in military time, so 0720 HRS = 7:20 AM and 1200 HRS = 12:00 PM
RIS = Titan Space Launch Vehicle solid rocket motor [SRM] storage facility. CSD = contractor that manufactures solid rocket motors, described in Charles Chase 28 July 2010 AIAA article "Pioneers in Propulsion-A History of CSD, Pratt & Whitney's Solid Rocket Company"
The timeline concludes with the death of of the poor rascally [possibly rabid] raccoon:
In case you're wondering, golly, what's the big deal about setting off some smoke bombs in a solid rocket motor facility, a fully stacked Titan SRM is nearly the length of half a football field:
The memo, which I find hilarious from beginning to end:
You might wonder whether there really is such a job as a base entomologist, and the answer would be, yes, there is, from the 25 JANUARY 2012 30TH SPACE WING INSTRUCTION 32-7001
"This interim change revises SWI 32-7001 by changing Chapter 23 “Apiary Hobbyists” so that bee keeping is no longer allowed on Vandenberg AFB. This change is being enacted to comply with federal law and per recommendations from AF entomologist/Pest Management subject matter expert advising against apiaries on AF property."The memo concludes:
The whole report is highly entertaining, because, ultimately, all's well that ends well [except for the poor raccoon], but a couple pull quotes:
"It was unanimous at the meeting that the proper personnel were not involved in the decision making."and, do NOT feed the wild animals!!!!!
"The guard did not admit to feeding the animal."
"The People's Cube" 1/26/2011 post "13 Bears, a Big Dog, a Raccoon, and a Pot-Bellied Pig Busted" cautions readers neither to feed or weed with wild animals otherwise you'll end up with a Rasta bear: