Sunday, February 16, 2014

I Denounce Mary Lou Retton as an Enemy of the People

I cross posted this as my snarky faux Stalinist doppelgänger Comrade Lysenko over at the Peoples Cube.

I denounce Mary Lou Retton as an Enemy of the PeopleTM (EOTPTM). On the EOTPTM Sean Hannity Monday 2/10/2014 show Mary Lou Retton spouted counter revolutionary hate speech. She said that some people are born short and some people are born tall and that playing basketball doesn't make a person tall!!!

This sounds dangerously close to decadent Western religious fanatic Gregor Mendel's evil pseudo science nonsense

Everyone know that genetics has nothing to do with anything and that genes don't even really exist but are purely a false racist sexist bigoted homophobe construct meant to oppress the masses with bogus bourgeois nucleotides

Indeed, comrades, believing in genetics is a worse crime against the state than eating cultural imperialist chicken eggs

All properly educated comrades know that they should only eat proletarian beets of the masses vs selfish kulak beans of individual pride and privilege

Young Pioneers Club members know the true moral of the story of the Ugly Duckling

is that racist speciesist ducks did not properly indoctrinate a class conscious swan and that they all had to be sent to a gulag to toil for a more progressive future

I conclude my official denunciation of Enemy of the PeopleTM  Mary Lou Retton with an official party approved communist potato joke

  • Farm worker: Comrade Stalin, we have so many potatoes that, piled one on top of the other, they would reach all the way to God!
  • Stalin: But God does not exist.
  • Farm worker: And neither do the potatoes.

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