Saturday, July 14, 2012

@USArmy Fashion Critique or berets are stupid looking regardless of whatever @NBCNews says

NBC's Rock Center show ran a snarky story attacking Fox and Friends for attacking the tackiness of USOC berets. Obviously, the comrades at People's Cube shares F and F's disdain for the USOC's dorky berets, as all left-minded as well as right-minded people understand that berets are the most hideous looking headgear humanly imaginable.

NBC justified their snark attack because the US Army also wears ugly berets. However, imho, this is no justification at all. The US Army also used to wear powdered wigs & knee britches, which are also dorky looking by modern standards.

First and foremost, a beret combines the inconvenient bulkiness of a wheel cap with the inherent ugliness of a beret.

One of the best things the USAF did for women is get rid of its dorky berets in favor of the flight cap (no ill will towards poor Airman West, who looks remarkably like Jodie Foster's long lost cousin):

Everyone looked better in a garrison cap:

or flight cap (though, why they're apparently wearing their covers inside, I don't know):

and as stated before, everybody looks stupid in a beret, regardless of race, religion, or place of national origin:

Whether wearing the beret, or trying to finding a place to stow it when uncovered, the beret looks plain stupid. For example, stowing beret under the  shoulder strap looks stupid:

Conversely, a flight cap can be flattened and conveniently stowed under one's belt, without looking like a dork:

34. When not worn, stow the flight cap _______. (17.6.3.)

A. under the belt between the first and second belt loops (on the wearer's left side for men)

B. under the belt between the first and second belt loops (on either side for women)

C. under the belt between the second and third belt loops and folded over the belt

*D. both A and B

In conclusion, berets are still stupid looking, regardless of the race, religion, or place of national origin of whomever wears them and the US Army should revert back to their old garrison caps.

 Even John Wayne couldn't pull off a beret, so what hope is there for the rest of us?


  1. I thought the uniforms look like some sort of Communist Youth getup, too weird

    And Ralph Lauren has his Polo symbol huge on the front of the jackets, I guess getting a fat contract in exchange for political donations to Obama wasn't enough to make him happy

  2. The reply button doesn't seem to work on my computer...In the USOC's defense, they're privately funded, & depend on corporate donations, so beggars really can't be choosers. I don't think we can blame either Obama or the DNC for this, which makes Harry Reid's comments peculiar (but then, that's par for the course for Dingy Harry)