Wednesday, July 25, 2012

@Smokey_Bear vs @USIndianAffiars and @RepGosar

There are two competing theories explaining the increased number of wildfires in the US: 1) Global Warming; 2) stupid hippies. Rep Gosar and his fellow Republicans in the Friday 20 July 2012 US House hearing on Wildfire Risk Reduction, Forest Health Improvement Bills ,  aired on CSPAN , advocate the logical second theory, whilst the Democrats promote the illogical first.

Indeed, as the witnesses testified, there is empirical data that validates the second anti-hippy theory. There are increased wildfires on forest land run by stupid hippies in DC who prevent cattle grazing and timber harvesting (which thus increases the amount of fuel to burn and decreases the water table from more trees sucking up more water). Conversely, there are decreased wildfires on tribal lands controlled by Native American governments who do NOT prevent timber harvesting or cattle grazing.  So, duh, stupid hippies, global warming is NOT causing wildfires.

Both Indians and non-Indians are living on the same planet with the same alleged man-made global warming. Hence, unless the hippies ascribe magical fire suppression powers to Native Americans, it's obvious that the radical enviroMENTAList, anti-agriculture, anti-civilization, anti-human policies result in increased wildfires:

Earth is ill. The virus that invades this planet is human in nature. This strange little creature has an ego that multiples and magnifies its significance. "Persons" think themselves so important they ignore the essence of every other life form

Progressives like to  pretend that they champion Native American philosophies, and sometimes they even like to pretend, for affirmative action benefits, that they are Native Americans, as per Elizabeth Warren in Massachusetts. However, if actual Native American practices contradict progressives' militantly held beliefs, the libs are more than happy to jettison the former to pursue the latter anti-capitalist agenda.

Admittedly, the heart and soul of Smokey the Bear has been fought over since the beginning of the National Forestry Service between the conservationists, who support humans rationally and sustainably using America's natural resources versus the preservationists, who hate people and want to try to freeze the wilderness' current status quo, which, again, isn't what Native Americans ever did, and isn't humanly, or naturally, possible. Hopefully, in November, the American electorate will vote in some pro-human politicians who will allow more logging roads to built on Federal lands, apparently the only types of roads verboten under this current administration.


  1. If only stupid hippies weren't so flammable, we could just air-drop them on the fires.

  2. Yeah, and they'd probably emit some patchouli stank and sufficate the fire fighters.