Saturday, May 30, 2009

Green = New Red

Since the CCCP lost the Cold War, openly being a Marxist has lost some of its cachet. It's still cooler to don Soviet inspired apparel (for example, the ever popular Che t-shirt):

than it is to wear Nazi inspired apparel (for example, the never popular Himmler t-shirt), even though Stalin ended up killing more people than Hitler. The avant-garde, who want to look hip and edgy, floundered for a few years to find a hue to replace the now déclassé red. The former reds finally stumbled upon the color green.

PBS NOW confirms what conservatives have suspected all along: that a number of "green" militants don't truly care either about the environment, or about helping the human race. Rather, they just want to attack Western Civilization, in general, and classical liberal democracy & free market capitalism, in particular. In the years before the Kool Aid Drinking, such people were called watermelons, since they are green on the outside, but red on the inside. Edward John Craig at the National Review even suggested a test to distinguish between what I suppose could be termed limes, people who are thoroughly green, and watermelon rinds, people with just the veneer of green. The term even spread overseas:
5 of them are in the category of orbiting Pluto, ranging from Fantasy Trotskyite, new-com, watermelon Marxist, a fake-peasant anarchist, and a hunter to a geriatric fascist

However, in today's day & age, it's politically incorrect to employ such a term, even though Democrats feel that it's still totally cool to racially stereotype black Republicans:
Condoleezza holds a watermelon just over the edge of the roof of the 300-foot Federal Building, and tosses it up with a velocity of 20 feet per second ...

It hits bush and cheney and they are covered with watermelon goop.

I'm okay with a little racial insensitivity as long as it results in bush getting hit with a watermelon. Well, not really, but they are making such a huge deal out of this over in GD that I felt the need to poke fun at them.

& are only offended when people attacking the GOP receive a slap on the wrist:
Oh for Pete's sake... it's not like she was *eating* the watermelon -- she was SMASHING that horrible symbol of racial oppression! Are we just not allowed to talk about blacks and watermelons in the same sentence anymore?

The answer to the rhetorical question posed above has two parts:

(1) Democrats are allowed to use any & all racist, sexist, ageist, etc ad infinitum attacks against their political opponents.


(2) Political opponents of Democrats may never criticize said Democrats for fear of being smeared a racist, sexist, ageist, etc ad infinitum in the media

Hence, the only politically correct way to currently use the term watermelon might be to point out that some people who employ feigned interest in the environment have micro-managing fascist tendencies.

For a possible PC micromanaging Marxist example, take the current Speaker of the House:
In answering a question from a student about how Pelosi was going to get Americans to cut back on their carbon emissions, the leading Democratic lawmaker said it was important to educate children on how to conserve energy and for citizens to build more environmentally friendly homes.

“We have so much room for improvement,” she said. “Every aspect of our lives must be subjected to an inventory ... of how we are taking responsibility.”

However, because of the left's hypocritical double standards, critics who characterize Obama's new special advisor for Green Jobs, Enterprise and Innovation, Van Jones, as a watermelon will most likely be denounced as evil racists & placed on the DHS terrorist watch list.

After racking my brain, & a cursory google search, I couldn't come up with any politically correct fruit that is green on the outside & red on the inside. I then thought outside the box & came up with the term lizards, an animal that usually fits such a cross-sectional criteria. Replacing watermelons with lizards as the symbol for crypto-Marxists will serendipitously dovetail nicely into ABC's upcoming remake of "V".

Van Jones is not a scientist, or an engineer, but simply a former charismatic community organizer. His appointment is not surprising, since speed dating algorithms predict that narcissists will attract each other:
"When someone else is like you and has the same attitudes," Gonzaga explains, "that validates the attitudes that you have...They’re making you feel better about yourself."

@ 10:00-10:40 on this NOW video Van Jones openly admits that he simply used the green mantra as a gimmicky trick to help redistribute the wealth around to the community he was organizing.

Thus, Obama plans to destroy the US coal industry as well as bankrupt the entire US economy solely to pay back his political constituencies.


Upon further googling, people looking for a vegan alternative to the crypto-Marxist lizard symbol might try horse chestnuts, since they are red nuts surrounded by a green covering.


Van Jones made a guest appearance in ABC's sci-fi thriller Earth 2100, where he advocates the establishment of a Eco-Comintern equivalent in order to better determine how much the ACORN apparatchiks should extract from each according to his ability to redistribute to each according to his need.


  1. Oh, this is just rich and so well done, adagioforstrings. You raise many salient points - and of course I agree with them all. I had forgotten the old watermelon marxist moniker - with its green on the outside red on the inside descriptor.

    The new Brown Shirts are green!


  2. The chestnut is an apt illustration of the modern ecofreak: Outwardly they're prickly and not much to look at, and inwardly they're just plain nuts.

  3. innominatus - This is one of the best written pieces on the greenie/marxist link that I have come across yet, maybe the best actually. Keep up the great work!