Living Shakespeare "As You Like It"

 

Prepared under the supervision of Bernard Grebanier.

Acting Version (May be used by schools and amateur groups without permission.)

CAST OF CHARACTERS

Duke, living in banishment

Frederick, his brother, and usurper of his dominions

Amiens, Jaques, lords attending on the banished Duke

Le Beau, a courtier attending on Frederick

Charles, wrestler to Frederick 

Oliver, Jacques, Orlando, Adam, Dennis, servants to Oliver

Touchstone, a clown 

Sir Oliver Martext, a vicar

Corin, Silvius, shepherds

William, a country fellow, in love with Audrey

A person representing Hymen

Rosalind, daughter to the banished Duke

Celia, daughter to Frederick

Phebe, a shepherdess

Audrey, a country wench

Lords, pages & attendants &c

SCENE: Oliver's house; Duke Frederick's court; and the Forest of Arden

ACT ONE

Orchard of Oliver's house

Enter Orlando and Adam

(Orl) As I remember, Adam, it was upon this fashion: my father bequethed me by will but poor a thousand crowns, and, as thou say'st, charged my brother on his blessing to breed me well: and there begins my sadness. My brother keeps me rustically at home, or, to speak more properly, stays me here at home unkept: for call you that 'keeping' for a gentleman of my birth, that differs not from the stalling of an ox?

(Ad) Yonder comes my master. your brother Oliver

(Orl) Go apart, Adam, and thou shalt hear how he will shake me up

Enter Oliver

(Oli) Now, Orlando, what make you here?

(Orl) Nothing: I am not taught to make any thing

(Oli) What mar you then, sir?

(Orl) Marry, sir. I am helping you to mar that which God made, a poor unworthy brother of yours, with idleness

(Oli) Marry, sir, be better employed, and be naught awhile

(Orl) Shall I keep your hogs and eat husks with them? What prodigal portion have I spent, that I should come to such penury?

(Oli) Know you where you are, sir?

(Orl) O, sir, very well: here in your orchard

(Oli) Know you before whom, sir?

(Orl) Ay, better than him I am before knows me. I know you are my eldest brother, and in the gentle condition of blood you should so know me. The courtesy of nations allows you my better, in that you are the firstborn, but the same tradition takes not away my blood, were there twenty brothers betwixt us: I have as much of my father in me as you, albeit I confess your coming before me is nearer to his revenue

(Oli) What, boy!

(Orl) Come, come, elder brother, you are too young in this

(Oli) Wilt thou lay hands on me, villain?

(Orl) I am no villain; I am the youngest son of Sir Rowland de Boys; he was my father, and his thrice a villain that says such a father begot villains. Wert thou not my brother, I would not take this hand from thy throat, till this other had pulled out thy tongue for saying so: thou hast railed on thyself

(Ad) Sweet masters, be patient: for your father's remembrance, be at accord

(Oli) Let me go, I say

(Orl) I will not, till I please: you shall hear me. My father charged you in his will to give me good education: you have trained me like a peasant, obscuring and hiding from me all gentlemanlike qualities. The spirit of my father grows strong in me, and I will no longer endure it: therefore allow me such exercises as may become a gentleman, or give me the poor allottery my father left me by testament; with that I will go buy my fortunes

(Oli) And what wilt thou do? beg, when that is spent? Well, sir, get you in: I will not long be troubled with you: you shall have some part of your will: I pray you, leave me

(Orl) I will no further offend you than becomes me for my good

(Oli) Get you with him, you old dog

(Ad) Is 'old dog' my reward? Most true, I have lost my teeth in your service. God be with my old master! he would not have spoke such a word

Exeunt Orlando and Adam

(Oli) Is it even so? begin you to grow upon me? I will physic your rankness, and yet give no thousand crowns neither. Holla, Dennis!

Enter Dennis

(Den) Calls your worship?

(Oli) Was not Charles, the Duke's wrestler, here to speak with me?

(Den) So please you, he is here at the door, and importunes access to you

(Oli) Call him in. (Exit Dennis) 'Twill be a good way; and to-morrow the wrestling is

Enter Charles

(Cha) Good morrow to your worship

(Oli) Good Monsieur Charles, what's the new news at the new court?

(Cha) There's no news at the court, sir, but the old news: that is, the old Duke is banished by his younger brother Frederick, the new Duke, and three or four loving lords have put themselves into voluntary exile with him

(Oli) Can you tell if Rosalind, the old Duke's daughter, be banished with her father?

(Cha) O, no; for the new Duke's daughter, her cousin Celia, so loves her that she would have followed her exile, or have died to stay behind her

(Oli) Where will the old Duke live?

(Cha) They say he is already in the forest of Arden, and a many merry men with him; and there they live like the old Robin Hood of England

(Oli) What, you wrestle to-morrow before the new Duke?

(Cha) Marry, do I sir: and I came to acquaint you with a matter. I am given, sir, secretly to understand that your younger brother, Orlando, hath a disposition to come in disguised against me to try a fall: your brother is but young and tender, and for your love I would loath to foil him, as I must for my love to you, I came hither to acquaint you withal, that you might stay him

(Oli) Charles, I had myself notice of my brother's purpose herein, and have by underhand means laboured to dissuade him from it: but he is resolute. I'll tell thee, Charles, it is the stubbornest young fellow of France, full of ambition, an envious emulator of every man's good parts, a secret and villanous contriver against me his natural brother: therefore use thy discretion; I had as lief thou didst break his neck as his finger

(Cha) I am heartily glad I came hither to you. If he come to-morrow, I'll give him his payment: if ever he go alone again, I'll never wrestle for prize more: and so, God keep your worship!

(Oli) Farewell, good Charles. (Exit Charles) Now will I stir this gamester: I hope I shall see an end to him

Lawn before the Dukes palace

Enter Rosalind and Celia

(Cel) I pray thee, Rosalind, sweet my coz, be merry

(Ros) Dear Celia, I show more mirth than I am mistress of, and would you yet I were merrier? Unless you could teach me to forget a banished father, you must not learn me how to remember any extraordinary pleasure

(Cel) Herein, I see, thou lov'st me not with the full weight that I love thee. You know my father hath no child but I, nor none is like to have; and truly when he dies, thou shalt be his heir: for what he hath taken away from thy father perforce, I will render thee again in affection; by mine honour I will, and when I break that oath, let me turn monster: therefore, my sweet Rose, my dear Rose, be merry

(Ros) From henceforth I will, coz

Enter Le Beau

(Cel) Here comes Monsieur Le Beau

(Ros) With his mouth full of news

(Cel) Bon jour, Monsieur Le Beau; what's the news?

(Le Be) Fair princess, you have lost much good sport

(Cel) Sport?

(Le Be) Good wrestling, which you have lost the sight of

(Ros) Tell us the manner of the wrestling

(Le Be) I will tell you the beginning; and, if it please your ladyships, you may see the end, for the best is yet to do, and here, where you are, they are coming to perform it

(Cel) Yonder, sure, they are coming: Let us now stay and see it

A flourish of trumpets. Enter Duke Frederick with his lords, Orlando, Charles, and Attendants

(Fre) Come on: since the youth will not be entreated, his own peril on his forwardness

(Ros) Is yonder the man?

(Le Be) Even he, madam

(Cel) Alas, he is too young: yet he looks successfully

(Fre) How now, daughter and cousin; are you crept hither to see the wrestling?

(Ros) Ay, my liege, so please you give us leave

(Fre) You will take little delight in it, I can tell you, there is such odds in the man. In pity of the challenger's youth I would fain dissuade him, but he will not be entreated. Speak to him, ladies, see if you can move him

(Cel) Call him hither, good Monsieur Le Beau

(Fre) Do so: I'll not be by

(Le Be) Monsieur the challenger, the princess calls for you

(Orl) I attend them with all respect and duty

(Ros) Young man, have you challenged Charles the wrestler?

(Orl) No, fair princess; he is the general challenger: I come but in as others do, to try with him the strength of my youth

(Cel) Young gentleman, your spirits are too bold for your years. You have seen cruel proof of this man's strength. We pray you, for your own sake, to embrace your own safety, and give over this attempt

(Ros) Do, young sir, your reputation shall not therefore be misprised: we will make it our suit to the Duke that the wrestling might not go forward

(Orl) I beseech you, punish me not with your hard thoughts, wherein I confess me much guilty to deny so fair and excellent ladies any thing. But let your fair eyes and gentle wishes go with me to my trial: wherein if I be foiled, there is but one shamed that was never gracious; if killed, but one dead that is willing to be so

(Ros) The little strength that I have, I would it were with you. Fare you well

(Cha) Come, where is this young gallant that is so desirous to lie with his mother earth?

(Orl) Ready, sir, but his will hath in it a more modest working

(Fre) You shall try but one fall

(Cha) No, I warrant your Grace, you shall not entreat him to a second, that have so mightily persuaded him from a first

(Orl) An you mean to mock me after, you should not have mocked me before: but come your ways

They wrestle

(Ros) O excellent young man!

Shout. Charles is thrown

(Fre) No more, no more

(Orl) Yes, I beseech your Grace, I am not yet well breath'd

(Fre) How dost thou, Charles?

(Le Be) He cannot speak, my lord

(Fre) Bear him away. What is thy name, young man?

(Orl) Orlando, my liege; the youngest son of Sir Rowland de Boys

(Fre) I would thou hadst been son to some man else: 

The world esteemed thy father honourable, 

But I did find him still mine enemy:

Thou shouldst have better pleased me with this deed,

Hadst thou descended from another house:

But fare thee well, thou art a gallant youth;

I would thou hadst told me of another father

Exeunt Duke Frederick, train, and Le Beau

(Orl) I am more proud to be Sir Rowland's son,

His youngest son, and would not change that calling,

To be adopted heir to Frederick

(Ros) My father loved Sir Rowland as his soul,

And all the world was of my father's mind

(Cel) Gentle cousin,

Let is go thank him, and encourage him:

My father's rough and envious disposition

Sticks me at heart

(Ros) Gentleman,

Giving him a chain from her neck

Wear this chain for me; one out of suits with fortune,

That could give more, but that her hand lacks means.

Shall we go, coz?

(Cel) Ay: fare you well, fair gentleman

(Orl) Can I not say, I thank you? My better parts

Are all thrown down, and that which here stand up

Is but a quintain, a mere lifeless block

(Ros)  He calls us back: my pride fell with my fortunes;

I'll ask him what he would. Did you call, sir?

Sir, you have wrestled well and overthrown

More than your enemies

(Cel) Will you go, coz?

(Ros) Have with you: fare you well

Exeunt Rosalind and Celia

(Orl) What passion hangs these weights upon my tongue?

I cannot speak to her, yet she urged conference.

O poor Orlando, thou art overthrown!

Re-enter Le Beau

(Le Be) Good sir, I do in friendship counsel you

To leave this place. Albeit you have deserved

High commendation, true applause, and love,

Yet such is now the Duke's condition,

That he misconstrues all that you have done.

(Orl) I thank you, sir: and pray you, tell me this,

Which of the two was daughter of the Duke,

That here was at the wrestling?

(Le Be) The smaller is his daughter;

The other is daughter to the banish'd Duke,

And here detain'd by her usurping uncle

To keep his daughter company:

But of late this Duke

Hath ta'en displeasure 'gainst his gentle niece,

Grounded upon no other argument

But that the people praise her for her virtues,

And pity her, for her good father's sake;

And, on my life, his malice 'gainst the lady

Will suddenly break forth. Sir, fare you well;

Hereafter, in a better world than this,

I shall desire more love and knowledge of you

(Orl) I rest much bounden to you: fare you well

Exit Le Beau

This must I from the smoke into the smother,

From tyrant Duke, unto a tyrant brother:

But heavenly Rosalind!

Exit

A room in the palace of Duke Frederick

Enter Celia and Rosalind

(Cel) Why, cousin! why, Rosalind! Cupid have mercy! not a word? Is it possible, on such a sudden, you should fall into so strong a liking with old Sir Rowland's youngest son?

(Ros) The Duke my father loved his father dearly

(Cel) Doth it therefore ensue that you should love his son dearly? By this kind of chase, I should hate him, for my father hated his father dearly; yet I hate not Orlando

(Ros) No, faith, hate him not, for my sake

(Cel) Why should I not? doth he not deserve well?

(Ros) Let me love him for that, and do you love him because I do. Look, here comes the Duke

(Cel) With his eyes full of anger

Enter Duke Frederick, with Lords

(Fre) Mistress, dispatch you with your safest haste,

And get you from our court

(Ros) Me, uncle?

(Fre) You, cousin.

Within these ten days if that thou be'st found

So near our public court as twenty miles,

Thou diest for it

(Ros) I do beseech your Grace,

Let me the knowledge of my fault bear with me:

Never so much as in a thought unborn

Did I offend your Highness

(Fre) Let it suffice thee that I trust thee not

(Ros) Yet your mistrust cannot make me a traitor:

Tell me whereon the likelihood depends

(Fre) Thou art thy father's daughter, there's enough

(Ros) Treason is not inherited, my lord,

Or, if we did derive it from our friends,

What's that to me? my father was no traitor:

Then, good my liege, mistake me not so much

To think my poverty is treacherous

(Cel) Dear sovereign, hear me speak

(Fre) Ay, Celia; we stayed her for your sake,

Else had she with her father rang'd along

(Cel) If she be a traitor,

Why so am I

(Fre) She is too subtle for thee; and her smoothness,

Her very silence, and her patience

Speak to the people, and they pity her.

Thou art a fool, she robs thee of thy name,

And thou wilt show more bright, and seem more virtuous,

When she is gone. Then open not they lips:

Firm and irrevocable is my doom,

Which I have passed upon her; she is banish'd

(Cel) Pronounce that sentence then on me, my liege,

I cannot live out of her company.

(Fre) You are a fool. You, niece, provide yourself;

If you outstay the time, upon mine honour,

And in the greatness of my word, you die.

================

Exeunt Duke Frederick and Lords

(Cel) O my poor Rosalind, wither wilt thou go?

Wilt thou change fathers? I will give thee mine.

I charge thee, be not thou more griev'd than I am.

(Ros) I have more cause.

(Cel) Thou has not, cousin;

Prithee, be cheerful: know'st thou not the Duke

Hath banish'd me, his daughter?

(Ros) That he hath not.

(Cel) Shall we be sunder'd? shall we part, sweet girl?

No, let my father seek another heir:

Therefore devise with me how we may fly,

Whither to go, and what to bear with us;

Say what thou canst, I'll go along with thee.

(Ros), whither shall we go?

(Cel) To seek my uncle in the forest of Arden.

(Ros) Alas, what danger will it be to us,

(Maids as we are) to travel forth so far?

Beauty provoketh thieves sooner than gold.

(Cel) I'll put myself in poor and mean attire,

And with a kind of umber smirch my face;

The like do you: so shall we pass along,

And never stir assailants.

(Ros) Were it not better,

Because that I am more than common tall,

That I did suit me all points like a man?

A gallant curtle-axe upon my thigh,

A boar spear in my hand? and-in my heart

Lie there what hidden woman's fear there will-

We'll have a swashing and a martial outside,

As many other mannish cowards have,

That do outface it with their semblances.

(Cel) What shall I call thee when thou art a man?

(Ros) I'll have no worse a name than Jove's own page,

And therefore look you call me Ganymede;

But what will you be call'd?

(Cel) Something that hath a reference to my state:

No longer Celia, but Aliena.

(Ros) But, cousin, what if we assay's to steal

The clownish fool Touchstone out of your father's court?

Would he not be a comfort to our travel?

(Cel) He'll go along o'er the wide world with me;

Leave me alone to woo him. Let's away,

And get our jewels and our wealth together,

Devise the fittest time and safest way

To hide us from pursuit that will be made

After my flight. Now we go in content

To liberty, and not to banishment.

Exeunt

ACT TWO

Before the cave of the exiled Duke

Enter Amiens, Jacques and others

(Ami) sings Under the greenwood tree,

Who loves to lie with me,

And turn his merry note,

Unto the sweet bird's throat:

Come hither, come hither:

Here shall he see

No enemy,

But winter and rough weather.

(Jaq) More, more, I prithee, more good Amiens.

(Ami) It will make you melancholy, Monsieur Jacques.

(Jaq) I thank it. More, I prithee, more: I can suck melancholy out of a song, as a weasel sucks eggs. More, I prithee, more.

(Ami) My voice is ragged, I know I cannot please you.

(Jaq) I do not desire you to please me, I do desire you to sing: Come, sing: and you that will not, hold your tongues.

(ami) Well, I'll end the song. Sirs, cover the while, the Duke will drink under this tree. He hath been all this day to look you, Monsieur Jaques.

(Jaq) And I have been all this day to avoid him: He is too disputable for my company: I think of as many matters as he, but I give heaven thanks, and make no boast of them. Come, warble, come.

SONG

Who doth ambition shun, All together here

And loves to live i' sun:

Seeking the food he eats,

And pleased with what he gets:

Come hither, come hither, come hither:

Here shall he see

No enemy,

But winter and rough weather.

(Jaq) I'll give you a verse to this note, that I made yesterday in despite of my invention.

(Ami) And I'll sing it.

(Jaq) Thus it goes:-

If it do come to pass,

That any man turn ass,

Leaving his wealth and ease,

A stubborn will to please,

Ducdame, ducdame, ducdame:

Here shall he see,

Gross fools as he,

An if he will come to me.

(Ami) What's that 'ducdame'?

(Jaq) 'Tis a Greek invocation, to call fools into a circle. O I'll go sleep, if I can; if I cannot, I'll rail against all the first-born of Egypt.

(Ami) And I'll go seek the Duke. Exeunt severally

A clearing on the outskirts of the forest

Enter Rosalind (as Ganymede), Cellia (as Aliena), together with Touchstone

(Ros) O jupiter, how weary are my spirits!

(Tou) I care not for my spirits, if my legs were not weary.

(Ros) I could find in my heart to disgrace my man's apparel, and to cry like a woman; but I must comfort the weaker vessel, as doublet and hose ought to show itself courageous to petticoat; therefore courage, good Aliena.

(Cel) I pray you bear with me; I cannot go no further.

(Tou) For my part, I had rather bear with you than bear you.

(Ros) Well, this is the forest of Arden!

(Tou) Ay, now am I in Arden, the more fool I. When I was at home I was in a better place, but travellers must be content.

(Ros) Ay, be so, good Touchstone.

Enter Corin and Silvius

(Cel) I pray you, one of you question yond man

If he for gold will give us any food;

I faint almost to death.

(Tou) Holla; you clown!

(Ros) Peace, fool, he's not they kinsman.

(Cor) Who calls?

(Tou) Your betters, sir.

(Cor) Else are they very wretched.

(Ros) Peace, I say. Good even to you, friend.

(Cor) And to you, gentle sir, and to you all.

(Ros) I prithee, shepherd, if that love or gold

Can in this desert place buy entertainment,

Bring us where we may rest ourselves and feed:

Here's a young maid with travel much oppressed,

And faints for succour.

(Cor) Fair sir, I pity her,

And wish, for her sake more than for mine own,

My fortunes were more able to relieve her;

But I am shepherd to another man,

And do not shear the fleece that I graze:

My master is of churlish disposition,

And little recks to find the way to heaven

By doing deeds of hospitality:

Besides, his cote, his flocks and bounds of feed

Are now on sale, and at our sheepcote now,

By reason of his absence, there is nothing

That you will feed on.

(Ros) I pray thee, if it stand with honesty,

Buy thou the cottage, pasture, and the flock,

And thou shalt have to pay for it of us.

(Cel) And we will mend thy wages: I like this place,

And willingly could waste my time in it.

(Cor) Assuredly, the thing is to be sold:

Go with me, if you like upon report

The soil, the profit, and this kind of life,

I will your very faithful feeder be,

And buy it with your gold right suddenly. Exeunt

The forest of Arden

Enter Duke, senior, Amiens, and two or three Lords, like foresters

(Du) No, my co-mates, and brothers in exile,

Hath not old custom made this life more sweet

Than that of painted pomp? Are not these woods

More free from peril than the envious court?

Here feel we not the penalty of Adam,

The seasons' difference? as the icy fang

And churlish chiding of the winter's wind,

Which, when it bites and blows upon my body,

Even till I shrink with cold, I smile and say

'This is no flattery: these are counsellors

That feelingly persuade me what I am.'

Sweet are the uses of adversity,

Which, like the toad, ugly and venomous,

Wears yet a precious jewel in his head:

And this our life, exempt from public haunt,

Finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks,

Sermons in stones, and good in every thing.

I would not change it.

(Ami) Happy is your Grace,

That can translate the stubbornness of fortune

Into so quiet and so sweet a style.

(Du) Come, shall we go and kill us venison?

And yet it irks me the poor dappled fools,

Being native burghers of this desert city,

Should in their own confines with forked heads

Have their round haunches gored.

(1 Lord) Indeed, my lord,

The melancholy Jaques grieves that,

And, in that kind, swears you do more usurp

Than doth your brother that hath banished you.

(Du) I love to cope him in these sullen fits,

For then he's full of matter.

Go, seek him, tell him I would speak with him.

Enter Jaques

(1 Lord) He saves my labour by his own approach.

(Du) Why, how now, monsieur! what a life is this,

That your poor friends must woo your company?

What, you look merrily!

(Jaq) A fool, a fool. I met a fool i' th' forest,

A motley fool; (a miserable world!)

As I do live by food, I met a fool,

Who laid him down, and basked him in the sun,

And railed on Lady Fortune in good terms,

In good set terms, and yet motley fool.

'Good morrow, fool,' quoth i. 'No, sir,' quoth he,

'Call me not fool, till heaven hath sent me fortune:'

And then he drew a dial from his poke,

And looking on it, with lack-lustre eye,

Says, very wisely, 'It is ten o'clock:

Thus we may see,' quoth he, 'how the world wags:

'Tis but an hour ago since it was nine;

And after one hour more, 'twill be eleven;

And so from hour to hour, we ripe, and ripe,

And then from hour to hour, we rot, and rot,

And thereby hangs a tale.' When I did hear

The motley fool thus moral on the time,

My lungs began to crow like chanticleer,

That fools should be so deep-contemplative;

And I did laugh, sans intermission

An hour by his dial. O noble fool!

O worthy fool! Motely's the only wear.

(Du) What fool is this?

(Jaq) A worthy fool! one that hath been a courtier.

O that I were a fool!

I am ambitious for a motley coat.

(Du) Thou shalt have one.

Enter Orlando, with his sword drawn

(Orl) Forbear, and eat no more.

(Jaq) Why, I have eat none yet.

(Orl) Nor shalt not, till necessity be serv'd.

(Jaq) Of what kind should this cock come of?

(Du) Art thou thus boldened, man, by thy distress?

Or else a rude despiser of good manners,

That in civility thou seem'st so empty?

(Orl) You touched my vein at first, the thorny point

Of bare distress, hath ta'en from me the show

Of smooth civility: yet am I inland bred,

And know some nurture. But forbear, I say

He dies that touches any of this fruit

Till I, and my affairs, are answered.

(Jaq) An you will not be answer'd with reason, I must die.

(Du) What would you have? Your gentleness shall force,

More than your force move us to gentleness.

(Orl) I almost die for food, and let me have it.

(Du) Sit down and feed, and welcome to our table.

(Orl) Speak you so gently? Pardon me I pray you,

I thought that all things had been savage here,

And therefore put I on the countenance

Of stern commandment. But whate'er you are

That in this desert inaccessible,

Under the shade of melancholy boughs,

Lose and neglect the creeping hours of time;

If ever you have looked on better days;

If ever been where bells have knoll'd to church;

If ever sat at any good man's feast;

If ever from your eyelids wiped a tear,

And know what 'tis to pity, and be pitied;

Let gentleness my strong enforcement be:

In the which hope I blush, and hide my sword.

(Du) True is it, that we have seen better days,

Therefore sit you down in gentleness,

And take upon command what help we have

That to your wanting may be minister'd.

(Orl) Then but forbear your food a little while;

Whiles, like a doe, I go to find my fawn,

And give it food. There is an old poor man,

Who after me hath many a weary step

Limp'd in pure love: till he be first suffic'd,

Oppress'd with two weak evils, age, and hunger,

I will not touch a bit.

(Du) Go find him out,

And we will nothing waste till you return.

(Orl) I thank ye, and be blessed for your good comfort!

Exit

(Du) Thou seest we are not all alone unhappy:

This wide and universal theatre

Presents more woeful pageants than the scene

Wherein we play in.

(Jaq) All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;

They have their exits and their entrances,

And one man in his time plays many parts,

His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,

Mewling, and puking in the nurse's arms:

Then the whining school-boy, with his satchel

And shining morning face, creeping like snail

Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,

Sighing like furnace with woeful ballad

Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then, a soldier,

Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,

Jealous in honour, sudden, and quick in quarrel,

Seeking the bubble reputation

Even in the cannon's mouth: and then, the justice,

In fair round belly, with good capon lin'd,

With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,

Full of wise saws and modern instances,

And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts

Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,

With spectacles on nose, and pouch on side,

His youthful hose, well sav'd, a world too wide

For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,

Turning again toward childish treble, pipes,

And whistles in his sound...Last scene of all,

That ends this strange eventful history,

Is second childishness, and mere oblivion,

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans every thin,

(Du) Give us some music, and, good cousin, sing.

(Ami) (sings)

Blow, blow, thou winter wind,

Thou are not so unkind,

As man's ingratitude;

Thy tooth is not so keen,

Because thou art not seen,

Although thy breath be rude.

Heigh-ho! sing, heigh-ho! unto the green holly.

Most friendship is feigning, most loving, mere folly:

Then heigh-ho, the holly!

This life is most jolly.

ACT THREE

Various parts of the forest

Enter Orlando , with a paper

(Orl) Hang there, my verse, in witness of my love,

O Rosalind! these trees shall be my books,

And in their barks my thoughts I'll character,

That every eye, which in this forest looks,

Shall see thy virtue witnessed every where.

run, run, Orlando, carve on every tree

The fair, the chaste, and unexpressive she.

Exit

Enter Corin and Touchstone

(Tou) Wast ever in court, shepherd?

(Cor) No, truly.

(Tou) Then thou art damned.

(Cor) Nay, I hope.

(Tou) Truly thou art damned, like an ill-roasted egg, all on one side.

(Cor) For not being at court? Your reason.

(Tou) Why, if thou never was at court, thou never saw'st good manners; if thou never saw's good manners, then thy manners must be wicked, and wickedness is sin, and sin is damnation. O thou art in  a parlous state, shepherd.

(Cor) Sir, I am a true labourer, I earn that I eat; get that I wear; owe no man hate, envy no man's happiness: glad of other men's good, content with my harm: and the greatest of my pride is to see my ewes graze, and my lambs suck.

(Tou) That is another simple sin in you, to bring the ewes and the rams together, and to offer to get your living by the copulation of cattle, to be bawd to a bellwether, and to betray a she-lamb of a twelvemonth to a crooked-pated old cuckoldy ram, out of all reasonable match.

(Cor) Here comes young Master Ganymede, my new mistress's brother.

Enter Rosalind, with a paper, reading

(Ros) "From the east to western Ind,

No jewel is like Rosalind;

Her worth, being mounted on the wind,

Through all the world bears Rosalind.

All the pictures fairest lin'd

Are but black to Rosalind.

Let no face be kept in mind

But the fair of Rosalind.'

(Tou) This is the very false gallop of verses; why do you infect yourself with them?

(Ros) Peace, you dull fool! I found them on a tree

(Tou) Truly, the tree yields bad fruit. I'll rhyme you so, eight years together; dinners, and suppers, and sleeping-hours excepted.

(Ros) Out, fool!

(Tou) For a taste:

If a hart do lack a hind,

Let him seek out Rosalind.

If the cat will after kind,

So be sure will Rosalind.

Winter garments must be lin'd,

So must slender Rosalind.

They that reap must sheaf and bind,

Then to cart with Rosalind.

Sweetest nu hath sourest rind,

Such a nut is Rosalind.

He that sweetest rose will find,

Must find love's prick, and Rosalind.

Enter Celia, with a writing

(Ros) Peace!

Here comes my sister reading: stand aside.

(Cel) 'But upon the fairest boughs,

Or at every sentence end,

Will I Rosalinda write.'

How now, back-friends! Shepherd, go off a little.

Go with him, sirrah.

(Tou) Come, shepherd, let us make an honourable retreat, though not with bag and baggage, yet with scrip and scrippage.

Exeunt Corin and Touchstone

(Cel) Didst thou hear these verses?

(Ros0 O, yes, I heard them all.

(Cel) But didst thou hear without wondering how thy name should be hang'd and carved upon these trees?

(Ros) I was seven of the nine days out of the wonder, before you came: for look here what I found on a palm tree.

(Cel) Trow you hath done this?

(Ros) Is it a man?

(Cel) And a chain that you once wore about his neck:

Change you colour?

(Ros) I prithee, who?

(Cel) Is it possible?

(Ros) Nay, I prithee now with most petitionary vehemence, tell me who it is.

(Cel) O wonderful, wonderful, and most wonderful wonderful! and yet again wonderful, and after that out of all hooping!

(Ros) Good my complexion! I prithee, take the cork out of the mouth, that I may drink thy tidings.

(Cel) So you may put a man in your belly. It is young Orlando.

(Ros) Nay, but the devil take mocking: speak sad brow, and true maid.

(Cel) I' faith, coz, 'tis he.

(Ros) Orlando?

(Cel) Orlando.

(Ros) Alas, the day, what shall I do with my doublet and horse? What did he when thou saw'st him? What said he? How looked he? Wherein went he? What makes he here? Did he ask for me? Where remains he? How parted he with thee? and when shalt thou see him again? Answer me in one word.

(Cel) You must borrow me Gargantua's mouth first.

(Ros) But doth he know that I am in this forest and in man's apparel? Looks he as freshly as he did the day he wrestled?

(Cel) I found him under a tree, liked a dropped acorn.

(Ros) It may well be called Jove's tree. when it drops such fruit.

(Cel) Give me audience, good madam.

(Ros) Proceed.

(Cel) There lay he, stretched along like a wounded knight.

(Ros) Though it be pity to see such a sight, it well becomes the ground.

(Cel) Cry 'holla' to thy tongue, I prithee; it curvets unseasonably.

(Ros) Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I must speak. Sweet, say on.

(Cel) You bring me out. Soft, comes he not here?

Enter Orlando and Jaques

(Ros) 'Tis he; slink by, and note him.

(Jaq) I pray you, mar no more trees with writing love-songs in their barks.

(Orl) I pray you, mar no more of my verses with reading them ill-favouredly.

(Jaq) Rosalind is your love's name?

(Orl) Yes, just.

(Jaq) I do note like her name.

(Orl) There was no thought of pleasing you when she was christen'd.

(Jaq) What stature is she of?

(Orl) Just as high as my heart.

(Jaq) You are full of pretty answers. I'll tarry no longer with you, farewell, good Signior Love.

(Orl) I am glad of your departure: adieu, good Monsieur Melancholy.

Exit Jaques

(Ros) (aside to Celia) I will speak to him like a saucy lackey, and under that habit play the knave with him. Do you hear, forester?

(Orl) Very well. What would you?

(Ros) I pray you, what is't o'clock?

(Orl) You should ask me what time o'day: there's no clock in the forest.

(Ros) Then there is no true lover in the forest, else sighing every minute and groaning every hour would detect the lazy foot of Time as well as a clock.

(Orl) Where dwell you, pretty youth?

(Ros) With this shepherdess, my sister; here in the skirts of the forest, like fringe upon a petticoat.

(Orl) Are you native of this place?

(Ros) As the cony that you see dwell where she is kindled.

(Orl) Your accent is something finer than you could purchase in so remov'd a dwelling.

(Ros) I have been told so of many: but indeed, an old religious uncle of mine taught me to speak, who was in his youth an inland man, one that knew courtship too well: for there he fell in love. I have heard him read many lectures against it, and I thank God I am not a woman, to be touched with so many giddy offences as he hath generally taxed their whole sex withal.

(Orl) Can you remember any of the principal evils that eh laid to the charge of women?

(Ros) There were none principal, they were all like one another as halfpenny are, every one fault seeming monstrous till his fellow-fault came to match it.

(Orl) I prithee, recount some of them.

(Ros) O, no: I will not cast away my physic, but on those that are sick. There is a man haunts the forest, that abuses our young plants with carving Rosalind on their barks; hangs odes upon hawthorns, and elegies on brambles; all, forsooth, deifying the name of Rosalind: if I could meet that fancy-monger, I would give him some good counsel.

(Orl) I am he that is so love-shank'd, I pray you tell me your remedy.

(Ros) There is none of my uncle's marks upon you: he taught me how to know a man in love: in which cage of rushes I am sure you are not a prisoner.

(Orl) What were his marks?

(Ros) A lean cheek, which you have not; a blue eye and sunken, which you have not; an unquestionable spirit, which you have not;  a beard neglected, which you have not: then your hose should be ungarter'd, your bonnet unbanded, your sleeve unbotton'd, your shoe untied, and every thing about you demonstrating a careless desolation.

(Orl) Fair youth, I would I could make thee believe I love.

(Ros) Me believe it? you may as soon make her that you love believe it, which I warrant she is apter to do than to confess she does. But in good sooth, are you he that hangs the verses on the trees, wherein Rosalind is so admir'd?

(Orl) I swear to thee, youth, by the white hand of Rosalind, I am that he, that unfortunate he.

(Ros) But are you so much in love as your rhymes speak?

(Orl) Neither rhyme nor reason can express how much.

(Ros) Love is merely a madness, and, I tell you, deserved as well a dark house and a whip, as madmen do: Yet I profess curing it by counsel.

(Orl) Did you ever cure any so?

(Ros) Yes, one, and in this manner. He was to imagine me his love, his mistress; and I set him every day to woo me: at which time would I, being but a moonish youth, grieve, be effeminate, changeable, longing, and liking, proud, fantastical, apish, shallow, inconstant, full of tears, full of smiles: would now like him, now loathe him; then entertain him, then forswear him; now weep for him, then spit at him; that I drave my suitor from his mad humour of love to a living humour of madness, which was to forswear the full stream of the world and to live in a nook merely monastic. And thus I cur'd him, and this way will I take upon me to wash your liver as clean as a sound sheep's heart, that there shall not be one spot love in't.

(Orl) I would not be cur'd youth.

(Ros) I would cure you, if you would but call me Rosalind and come every day to my cote, and woo me.

(Orl) Now, by faith of my love, I will; tell me where it is.

(Ros) Go with me to it, and I'll show it you: and by the way you shall tell me where in the forest you live. Will you go?

(Orl) With all me heart, good youth.

(Ros) Nay, you must call me Rosalind. Come, sister, will you go?

Exeunt

Enter Touchstone and Audrey

(Tou) Come apace, good Audrey, I will fetch up your goats, Audrey. And how, Audrey? am I the man yet? Doth my simple feature content you?

(Aud) Your features, Lord warrant us: what features?

(Tou) I am here with thee and thy goats, as the most capricious poet honest Ovid was among the Goths. Truly, I would the gods had made the poetical.

(Aud) Well, I am not fair, and therefore I pray the gods make me honest.

(Tou) Truly, and to cast away honesty upon a foul slut were to put good meat into an unclean dish.

(Aud) I am not a slut, though I thank the gods I am foul.

(Tou) Well, prais'd be the gods for thy foulness; sluttishness may come hereafter. But be it as it may be, I will marry thee. As the ox hath his bow, the horse his curb, and the falcon her bells, so man hath his desires, and as pigeons bill, so wedlock would be nibbling. Come, sweet Audrey,

We must be married, or we must in bawdry.

Exeunt

ACT FOUR

The forest

Enter Rosalind and Celia

(Ros) Never talk to me, I will weep.

(Cel) Do, I prithee, but yet have the grace to consider that tears do not become a man.

(Ros) But why did he swear he would come this morning, and comes not?

(Cel) Nay, certainly, there is no truth in him.

(Ros) Not true in love?

(Cel) Yes, when he is in, but I think he is not in.

(Ros) You have heard him swear downright he was.

(Cel) 'Was" is not 'is"" besides, the oath of a lover is no stronger than the word of a tapster, they are both the confirmer of false reckonings; he attends here in the forest on the Duke your father.

Enter Jaques and Lords, foresters

(Jaq) Which is he that killed the deer?

(A Lord) Sir, it was I.

(Jaq) Let's present him to the Duke like a Roman conqueror; have you no song, forester, for this purpose?

(Ami) Yes, sir.

(Jaq) Sing it: 'tis no matter how it be in tune, so it make noise enough.

Song

What shall he have that kill'd the deer?

His leather skin, and horns to wear:

Then sing him home:

Take thou no scorn to wear the horn,

It was a crest ere thou wast born,

Thy father's father wore it,

And thy father bore it,

The horn, the horn, the lusty horn,

Is not a thing to laugh to scorn.

Exeunt

Enter Orlando

(Orl) Good-day, and happiness, dear Rosalind!

(Ros) Why, how now, Orlando! where have you been all this while? You a lover! An you serve me such another trick, never come in my sight more.

(Orl) Pardon me, dear Rosalind.

(Ros) Nay, an you be so tardy, come no more in my sight, I had as lief be woo'd of a snail.

(Orl) Of a snail?

(Ros) Ay, of a snail: for though he comes slowly, he carries his house on his head; a better jointure, I think, than you make a woman.

(Orl) I would not have my right Rosalind of this mind, for I protest her frown might kill me.

(Ros) But come, now I will be your Rosalind in a more coming-on disposition: and ask me what you will, I will grant it.

(Orl) Then love me, Rosalind.

(Ros) Yes, faith, will I, Fridays and Saturdays, and all.

(Orl) And wilt thou have me?

(Ros) Ay, and twenty such.

(Orl) What sayest thou?

(Ros) Are you not good?

(Orl) I hope so.

(Ros) Why then, can one desire too much of a good thing? Come, sister, you shall be the priest, and marry us: Give me your hand, Orlando. What do you say, sister?

(Orl) Pray thee, marry us.

(Cel) I cannot say the words.

(Ros)You must begin, 'Will you, Orlando -'

(Cel) Go to. Will you, Orlando, have to wife this Rosalind?

(Orl) I will.

(Ros) Ay, but when?

(Orl) Why now, as fast as she can marry us.

(Ros) Then you must say 'I take thee, Rosalind, for wife.'

(Orl) I take thee, Rosalind, for wife.

(Ros) I might ask you for your commission, but I do take thee, Orlando, for my husband. Now tell me how long you would have her after you have possessed her.

(Orl) For ever and a day.

(Ros) Say 'a day' without the 'ever.' No, no, Orlando, men are April when they woo, December when they wed: maids are May when they are maids, but the sky changes when they are wives. I will be more jealous of thee than a Barbary cock-pigeon over his hen, more clamorous than a parrot against rain, more new-fangled than an ape, more giddy in my desires than a monkey: I will weep for nothing, like Diana in the fountain, and I will do that when you are dispos'd to be merry; I will laugh like a hyen, and that when thou are inclined to sleep.

(Orl) But will my Rosalind do so?

(Ros) By my life, she will do as I do.

(Orl) For these two hours, Rosalind, I will leave thee.

(Ros) Alas, dear love, I cannot lack thee two hours.

(Orl) I must attend the Duke at dinner; by two o'clock I will be with thee again.

(Ros) Two o'clock is your hour?

(Orl) Ay, sweet Rosalind.

Exit

(Cel) You have simply misus'd our sex in your loveprate : we must have your doublet and hose plucked over your head, and show the world what the bird hath done to her own nest.

(Ros) O coz, coz, coz : my pretty little coz, than thou didst know how many fathom deep I am in love! But it cannot be sounded: I'll tell thee, Aliena, I cannot be out of the sight of Orlando: I'll go find a shadow and sigh till he come.

(Cel) And I'll sleep.

Exeunt

Enter Touchstone and Audrey

(Tou) We shall find a time, Audrey; patience, gentle Audrey. But Audrey, there is a youth here in the forest lays claim to you.

(Aud) Ay, I know who 'tis; he hath no interest in me in the world: here comes the man you mean.

(Tou) It is meat and drink to me to see a clown.

Enter William

(Wil) Good ev'n, Audrey.

(Aud) Good ye good ev'n, William.

(Wil) And good ev'n to you, sir.

(Tou) Good ev'n, gentle friend. Cover thy head, cover thy head; nay, prithee, be cover'd. How old are you, friend?

(Wil) Five and twenty, sire.

(Tou) A ripe age: Is thy name William?

(Wil) William, sir.

(Tou) A fair name. Wast born i' the forest here?

(Wil) Ay, sir, I thank God.

(Tou) 'Thank God'; a good answer. Art rich?

(Wil) Faith, sir, so so.

(Tou) "So so' is good, very good, very excellent good; and yet it is not, it is but so so. Art thou wise?

(Wil) Ay, sir. I have a pretty wit.

(Tou) Why, thou say'st well. I do now remember a saying: 'The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.' You do love this maid?

(Wil) I do, sir.

(Tou) Give me your hand. Art thou learned?

(Wil) No, sir.

(Tou) Then learn this of me: to have, is to have. I am he.

(Wil) Which he, sir?

(Tou) He, sir, that must marry this woman: therefore, you clown, abandon (which is in the vulgar 'leave') the society (which in the boorish is 'company') of this female (which in the common is 'woman'): which together, is, 'abandon the society of this female,' or, clown, thou perishest; or, to thy better understanding, diest; or, to wit, I kill thee, make thee away, translate thy life into death, thy liberty into bondage: I will deal in poison with thee, or in bastinado, or in steel; I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways, therefore tremble, and depart.

(Aud) Do, good William.

(Wil) God rest you merry, sir.

Exit

(Tou) Trip, Audrey! trip, Audrey! I attend, I attend.

Exeunt

Re-enter Rosalind and Celia

(Ros) How say you now? Is it not past two o'clock? and here much Orlando!

(Cel) I warrant you, with pure love, and troubled brain, he hath ta'en his bow and arrows, and is gone forth to sleep.

Enter Oliver

(Oli) Good morrow, fair ones: pray you, if you know, 

Where in the purlieus of this forest stands

A sheep-cote, fenc'd about with olive-trees?

(Cel) West of this place, down in the neighbour bottom,

The rank of osiers, by the murmuring stream

Left on your right hand, brings you to the place:

But at this hour the house doth keep itself,

There's none within.

(Oli) If that an eye may profit by a tongue,

Then should I know you by description,

Such garments and such years: 'The boy is fair,

Of female favour, and bestows himself

Like a ripe forester: the woman low,

And browner than her brother.' ...Are not you

The owner of the house I did inquire for?

(Cel) It is no boast, being asked, to say we are.

(Oli) Orlando doth commend him to you both,

And to that youth he calls his Rosalind

He send this bloody napkin; are you he?

(Ros) I am: what must we understand by this?

(Oli) Some of my shame, if you will know of me

What man I am, and how, and why, and where

This handkercher was stained.

(Cel) I pray you, tell it.

(Oli) When last the young Orlando parted from you

He left a promise to return again

Within an hour, and pacing through the forest,

Chewing the food of sweet and bitter fancy,

Lo, what befel! he threw his eye aside,

And mark what object did present itself

Under an oak, whose boughs were mossed with age

And high top, bald with dry antiquity,

A wretched ragged man, o'ergrown with hair,

Lay sleeping on his back: about his neck

A green and gilded snake had wreath'd itself,

Who with her head nimble in threats approached

The opening of his mouth: but suddenly

Seeing Orlando, it unlinked itself,

And with indented glides did slip away

Into a bush, under which bush's shade

A lioness, with udders all drawn dry,

Lay couching head on ground, with catlike watch

When that the sleeping man should stir; for 'tis 

The royal disposition of that beast

To prey on nothing that doth seem as dead:

This seen, Orlando did approach the man,

(Cel) O, I have heard him speak of that same brother,

And he did render him the most unnatural

That lived 'mongst men.

(Oli) And well he might so do,

For well I know he was unnatural.

(Ros) But, to Orlando: did he leave him there,

Food to the sucked and hungry lioness?

(Oli) Twice did he turn his back and purposed so:

But kindness, nobler ever than revenge,

And nature, stronger than his just occasion,

Made him give battle to the lioness:

Who quickly fell before him: in which hurtling

From miserable slumber I awak'd.

(Cel) Are you his brother?

(Ros) Was't you he rescued?

(Cel) Was't you that did so oft contrive to kill him?

(Oli) 'Twas I; but 'tis not I: I do not shame

To tell you what I was, since my conversion

So sweetly tastes, being the thing I am.

(Ros) But, for the bloody napkin?

(Oli) By and by:

When from the first to last betwixt us two

Tears our recountments had most kindly bath'd,

As how I came into that desert place;

In brief, he led me to the gentle Duke,

Who gave me fresh array and entertainment,

Committing me unto my brother's love,

Who led me instantly unto his cave,

There stripped himself, and here upon his arm

The lioness had torn some flesh away,

Which all this while had bled; and now he fainted,

And cried in fainting upon Rosalind.

Brief, I recovere'd him, bound up his wound,

And after some small space, being strong at heart,

He sent me hither, stranger as I am,

To tell this story, that you might excuse

His broken promise, and to give this napkin,

Dyed in his blood, unto the shepherd youth

That he in sport doth call his Rosalind.

Rosalind swoons

(Cel) Why, how now, Ganymede! sweet Ganymede?

(Oli) Many will swoon when they do look on blood.

(Cel) There is more in it; cousin - Ganymede!

(Oli) Look, he recovers.

(Ros) I would I were at home.

(Cel) We'll lead you thither.

I pray you, will you take him by the arm?

(Oli) Be of good cheer, youth: you a man? You lack a man's heart.

(Ros) O, I do so, I confess it. Ah, sirrah, a body would think this was well counterfeited. I pray you, tell your brother how well I counterfeited.

(Cel) Come, you look paler and paler: pray you, draw homewards: good sir, go with us.

(Oli) That will I: for I must bear answer back

How you excuse my brother, Rosalind.

(Ros) I shall devise something: but I pray you commend my counterfeiting to him. Will you go?

Exeunt

ACT FIVE

The forest

Enter Rosalind and Orlando

(Ros) Did your brother tell you how I counterfeited to swoon, when he showed me your handkercher?

(Orl) Ay, and greater wonders than that.

(Ros) O, I know where you are: 'tis true: for your brother and my sister no sooner met but they look'd; no sooner look'd but they lov'd' no sooner lov'd but they sigh'd; no sooner sigh'd but they asked one another the reason; no sooner knew the reason, but they sought the remedy: and in these degrees, have they made a pair of stairs to marriage, which they will climb incontinent, or else be incontinent before marriage: they are in the very wrath of love and they will together. Clubs cannot part them.

(Orl) They shall be married to-morrow: and I will bid the Duke to the nuptial. But, O, how bitter a thing it is, to look into happiness through another man's eyes!

(Ros) Why, then, to-morrow I cannot serve your turn for Rosalind?

(Orl) I can live no longer by thinking.

(Ros) I will weary you then no longer with idle talking. I have, since I was three year old, convers'd with a magician, most profound in his art, and yet not damnable. If you do love Rosalind so near the heart as your gesture cries it out; when your brother marries Aliena, shall you marry her. I know into what straits of fortune she is driven, and it is not impossible to me, if it appear not inconvenient to you, to set her before your eyes to-morrow, human as she is, and without any danger.

(Orl) Speak'st thou in sober meanings?

(Ros) By my life, I do, which I tender dearly, though I say I am a magician. Therefore put you in your best array, bid your friends; for if you will be married to-morrow, you shall; and to Rosalind, if you will.

Exeunt

Enter Touchstone and Audrey

(Tou) To-morrow is the joyful day, Audrey, to-morrow will we be married.

(Aud) I do desire it with all my heart; and I hope it is no dishonest desire, to desire to be a woman of the world.

(They sing)

It was a lover and his lass,

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,

That o'er the green corn-fields did pass,

In spring time, the only pretty ring time,

When birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding :

Sweet lovers love the spring.

(Tou) By my troth, yes; I count it but time lost to sing such a foolish song. Come, Audrey.

Exeunt

A night passes

Enter Duke senior, Amieans, Jaques, Orlando, Oliver, and Celia

(Du) Dost thou believe, Orlando, that the boy

Can do all this that he hath promised?

(Orl) I sometimes do believe , and sometimes do not,

As those that fear they hope, and know they fear.

Enter Rosalind

(Ros) Patience once more, whiles our compact is urg'd:

You say, if I bring in your Rosalind,

You will bestow her on Orlando here?

(Du) That would I, had I kingdoms to give with her.

(Ros) And you say you will have her, when I bring her?

(Orl) That would I, were I of all kingdoms king.

(Ros) I have promised to make all this matter even:

Keep your word, O Duke, to give your daughter-

You yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter:

From hence I go,

To make these doubts all even.

Exeunt Rosalind and Celia

(Du) I do remember in this shepherd-boy

Some lively touches of my daughter's favour.

(Orl) My lord, the first time that I ever saw him,

Methought he was a brother to your daughter:

But, my good lord, this boy is forest-born,

And hath been tutored in the rudiments

Of many desperate studies, by his uncle,

Whom he reports to be a great magician,

Obscured in the circle of this forest.

Enter Touchstone and Audrey

(Tou) Salutation and greeting to you all!

(Jaq) Good my lord, bid him welcome: this is the motley-minded gentleman that I have so often met in the forest: he hath been a courtier, he swears.

(Tou) If any man doubt that, let him put me to my purgation. I have trod a measure, I have flatter'd a lady, I have been politic with my friend, smooth with mine enemy, I have undone three tailors, I have had four quarrels, and like to have fought one.

(Jaq) And how was that ta'en up?

(Tou) Faith, we met, and found the quarrel was upon the seventh cause.

(Jaq) How seventh cause? Good my lord, like this fellow.

(Du) I like him very well.

(Tou) God 'ild you, sir, I desire you of the like. I press in here, sir, amongst the rest of the country copulatives, to swear and to forswear, according as marriage binds and blood breaks: a poor virgin, sir, an ill-favour'd thing, sir, but mine own, a poor humour of mine, sir, to take that no man else will: rich honesty dwells like a miser, sir, in a poor house, as your pearl in your foul oyster.

(Jaq) But, for the seventh cause. How did you find the quarrel on the seventh cause?

(Tou) Upon a lie, seven times removed:-bear your body more seeming, Audrey:-as thus, sir. I did dislike the cut of a certain courtier's beard: he sent me word, if I said his beard was not cut well, he was in the mind it was: this is call'd the retort courteous. If I sent him word again, 'it was not well cut,' he would send me word, he cut it to please himself: this is call'd the quip modest. If again 'it was not well cut,' he disabled my judgement: this is call'd the reply churlish. If again, 'it was not well cut,' he would answer, I spake not true: this is call'd the reproof valiant. If again 'it was not well cut,' he would say, I lie: this is call'd the countercheck quarrelsome: and so to the lie circumstantial and the lie direct.

(Jaq) And how oft did you say his beard was not well cut?

(Tou) I durst go no further than the Lie Circumstantial: nor he durst not give me the Lie Direct: and so we measur'd swords, and parted.

(Jaq) Is not this a rare fellow, my lord?

Enter Hymen, Rosalind, and Celia

'Still music"

(Hy) (sings) 

Then is there mirth in heaven,

When earthly things made even

Atone together.

Good Duke, receive thy daughter:

Hymen from heaven brought her,

Yea, brought her hither,

That thou mightst join her hand with his

Whose heart within her bosom is.

(Ros) (to the Duke) To you I give myself, for I am yours.

(Du) If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter.

(Ros) (to Orlando) To you I give myself, for I am yours.

(Orl) If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind,

(Ros) I'll have no father, if you be not he:

I'll have no husband, if you be not he.

(Du) Proceed, proceed: we will begin these rites,

As we do trust, they'll end in true delights.

SONG

Wedding is great Juno's crown,

O blessed bond of board and bed:

'Tis Hymen peoples every town,

High wedlock then be honoured:

Honour, high honour and renown,

To Hymen, god of every town!